A Letter to Myself

By Amirah ‘Afifah

Dear Amirah,

It has been awhile since we last spoke about us. I know the struggles you have went through and the pain and struggles you have faced since you were 14. Life was brittle, a struggle to make means and it was rocky for you. From past successes to failures, mended to broken relationships, emotional tendencies, depression and suicide, I would say you are stronger than the coronavirus epidemic. XD

It will pass, I know.

Trials and tribulations await you and keep on downing upon you, ricocheting like bullets that pierce your heart. You say you are okay.

 But I know, you aren’t.

 You said you are strong. But deep down, you are numbing and you feel like a squashed up salad, forced to be consumed to “cut down the carbs”.

Look, Allah knows best for you. He made you quit school so that it won’t aggravate your stress. He made you lose friends so they won’t be a toxic factor in your life. He made you meet that someone so that you will feel the emotion of love you have been wanting to feel for such a long time. He made him cheat on you, so that you will be closer to Allah and cry out all your frustrations and worries and rely on Allah.

He blessed you with opportunities, studied for a diploma which many people have dropped out due to the rigor but you managed to stay on. He blessed you with a job as a tutor so you will learn the responsibility of taking care of students before taking care of your family. He blessed you with a wonderful and supportive family knowing that you need them.

Allah loves you, Amirah.

You may not get to take the Biotechnology route you used to wish and hoped for. You may not get to take on the Medical route you once thought of ever since you were a child. You may not be an outstanding physicist or an astronomer. But at least, with imaan and Allah, He could take you to anywhere you wish for and He knows the best for you.

So, Amirah. Put your trust in Allah for He is the Most Knowing, Most Merciful, Most Hearing, Most Seeing and Most Affectionate.

With love,

Amirah

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So whaddup guys, it has been awhile since I last wrote in this blog. Things have been rocky for me and to be honest, it isn’t life full of unicorns and marshmallows. Things have been pretty tough for me. Depression at it’s worst, *sigh.

But still, you gotta get back up when you fall right.

Feel free to DM or follow me on instagram @pseudospacemanfromearthc137 and I will attend to your enquiries and do share with me your thoughts on relationships and mental illnesses. I think it will be great to get some people to share on the platform. Thanks, see you soon.