By Nur Afiqah Bte Mohd Azman
Hello everyone, I am so excited to have a date with all of you in my very own mental health series fortnightly. Give yourself a hug for taking a small step in taking control over your mental health. Before we start with our mental health series, I would like to first and foremost introduce myself as one of the writers for Club HEAL blog.
My name is Nur Afiqah Bte Mohd Azman. I graduated from Nanyang Technological University in 2016. I had depression throughout my university years since 2012, which was undiagnosed at that time.
It started due to the uneventful episodes that happened during polytechnic years, which I was feeling guilty about for a very long time. The feeling of guilt was with me throughout my university lives. The stress from academic years and the loneliness and the emptiness that I felt, worsened my depression as I felt that I had no friends. When in fact, I had a lot of good friends.
After I graduated, I was jobless for 6 months and I was always at home. I was disconnected from the outside world that I lost touch with my emotions added on with my uncontrolled sadness and despair.
Things worsened when I tried to adapt to the working world. My depression escalated to bipolar as I began to have my highs and my lows.
Coupled with my low self-esteem and low self-confidence, I couldn’t calm myself and anxiety became a natural friend to me. I thought people were talking bad about me and I always had negative thoughts in my head. I thought I was doing just fine but I knew deep down I wasn’t.
Things changed when I decided to accept the offer to join a mental rehabilitation centre, Club HEAL. I made an effort to get better and I knew deep down I will eventually recover. It is not smooth sailing but I tried my best.
As I am writing to you now, I feel so much better that I have shared my recovery journey and I will be writing more love letters on ways to overcome our mental illness. Have a good rest and hug yourself again for loving yourself today.
Wow! That’s amazing Fiqa…you and all of us can go through it with time. Never stop ourself from trying and doing the best of our ability. I love you.